Being raised by a family that instills a strong work ethic, integrity and striving for excellence, it’s hard not to expect myself to produce perfection. I am reminded by the erasers at the end of each pencil that I hold — even the skillful manufacturer knows I will make an occasional mistake.
I’m somewhat of a competitive person, that likes to better her last score on the digital game. I don’t seek to surpass your score or anyone else’s who may be in the room — just my own. In fact, I am known to compete with a cardio machine at the gym. Yes, I know — sounds lunatic in nature, but in order for me to get ‘that level’ workout, I literally say to the machine as I mount it, “You’re just nuts ‘n’ bolts and I can unplug you.” With my earbuds in, it’s game on!
I admit that when I set out to accomplish a particular task or complete a project, I wrap my vice grip around that endeavor until I declare it ‘good.’
It took me many, many years — and I’m still allowing the learning lessons to really sink in and soak my soul — to realize that in my own strength and effort, I cannot achieve that level of what I had deemed to be acceptable. My vision and definition of what is ‘good’. The bigger lesson was the realization that only GOD’s definition of ‘good’ is what matters. And honestly, let me whisper to you with embarrassment that I’m constantly being reminded of that.
I’m not a quitter by any means, but I can be a nuisance when it comes to expectations. I would not impose the same standards on another human being — just myself.
2 Do not be shaped by this world; instead be changed within by a new way of thinking. Then you will be able to decide what God wants for you; you will know what is good and pleasing to him and what is perfect. Romans 12:2 NCV
Placing expectations of a level of performance on oneself can lead to an insane thought pattern that will destroy the potential of great things to come from those same hands. Those hands which hold the tools and equipment for good use. Those hands which have long since developed calluses from years of tightly gripped fingers wrapped around ideals of what should be — according to me. All because I defined ‘good.’
Coming to the end of myself and my own expectations caused me to throw in the towel of human expectations of self and lift up these empty palms of surrender. I had to surrender those things that I had taken up as burdens and strapped onto myself.
Life is not defined by me. It is defined by the Author of Life. Jesus Christ.
And as we learn to accept this magnificent love relationship with our Redeemer, we also come to understand that this love relationship is incomprehensible. We could take an entire lifetime trying to wrap our brains around it and still not scratch the surface.
So, my thinking must shift. And it does as I surrender myself to the life lessons I encounter – because they are crafted by GOD Himself. This sovereign GOD is amazingly patient, my Friend — but you probably already know that. He waits for us even when we don’t grasp His teaching the umpteenth time around. But daily, He allows for us to wake up and go at it again. Because He loves us.
The sweat and effort no longer rule my pursuit. The driving force is changing from human flesh to the workings from my spirit which is now led by the Holy Spirit.
I’m learning daily to yield my spirit to the Holy Spirit, so my fleshly human efforts don’t compare. But it requires of me to constantly renew my mind and swipe left those polluting thought processes. That transformation — it’s real.
It led me to throwing in that sweaty towel of human striving. And those now empty hands lift upward toward Heaven to receive the power that will move with the tools and talents placed within them. Hands that pray before they get dirty. Hands that comfort when embracing others going through a rough season in life. Hands that raise praise in the middle of a worship song or in the midst of a storm. Hands that will reach out to those who still don’t know their Savior. Hands that are strengthened for serving others.
It’s time to throw in the towel and throw up our hands to receive the real power to do the work we have been called to do. Empty hands can be filled with extraordinary strength and purpose if they are surrendered to the One Who created them.
I love you to Heaven and Back, Girlfriend ~
LindaRJohnson, TitusTwo Visionary
Titus Two 