Honesty doesn’t have to be brash or abrasive, neither rude nor arrogant. And yet in our current culture where we toot the horns of transparency and ‘being real,’ we seem to have strayed into the fields of muddy maliciousness when speaking our truths.
I’ve heard it said, “Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.” In other words, just because you feel that you have the ‘right’ to speak your mind, doesn’t mean that it’s alright to pull out all the stops.
The filters have cease to exist and regardless of the hurtful words that explode with horrendous speed, some of us are left in the wake of shrapnel and debris of emotional fragments. We can still be honest without the bombs of hurt.
and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:32 ESV
Throughout the years, I’ve learned a few lessons about honesty. First, it isn’t an easy way to live, given the environment and culture we are surrounded by. After carefully weighing the odds on how unpopular you will be when you disagree with other people, you must come to terms with being content with that loneliness.
Second, if you’ve had any amount of time behind you, you will have gained insight into the importance of using your voice to state an opinion (in which case, it’s all about you), or the sacred sanity of keeping those precious thoughts private until a more opportune time and letting peace rule. Hopefully, tact and respect for the other person will grace the pathway to building that bridge rather than burn it.
And third (I’ll limit it to these few), will my interaction with this person draw attention towards me or towards Jesus? At the end of the conversation, will He be what they have seen and experienced throughout our interaction and dialogue, or will they be so annoyed with my noisy display that Jesus is never seen?
O Lord, you have examined me, and you know me.
2 You alone know when I sit down and when I get up.
You read my thoughts from far away. Psalm 139:1-2 GWTExamine me, O God, and know my mind.
Test me, and know my thoughts.
24 See whether I am on an evil path.
Then lead me on the everlasting path. Psalm 139:23-24 GWT
I’ve been front row to exchanges between people that just left so much pain and hurt on the floor that there was not a mop big enough to clean up the mess. Wrong-way conversations that started off sideways and looped around into a pretzel of a mess! Nothing gained, no desirable highlight reels to rewind. Just devastated spirits and shredded hearts.
We can be honest without being forceful or demanding (to be right). There’s always an opportunity to love and listen, as there will be the moment for you to speak and share. Those pauses of listening will require our intentional participation by being fully present. We can learn a lot from keeping our mouths shut and opening our hearts. Sometimes the hurt you feel is what is being articulated by the one you are looking at. GOD does that — allows us to recognize we are not alone.
So, the next time you’re triggered (soft way of saying, tempted) and you want to engage in a war of words, pause and say a quiet prayer before unleashing the first thing that enters your brain. It might prevent future regret and sorrow, but more than anything, it will allow GOD to step in before anyone decides to step out.
Like enjoying your favorite tea, sipping on it slowly makes the extraordinary experience seem to last forever. If we rush through it, we will have missed out on the savory nuances and extraordinary aroma available to us. If we plow through an encounter with the agenda to be heard and be right, we will have forgone the grand opportunity to love the way Jesus loves us and to be loved in return.
Now, go enjoy some of that tea … and maybe add a dollop of honey to sweeten up those thoughts.
I love you to Heaven and Back, Girlfriend ~
LindaRJohnson, TitusTwo Visionary
Titus Two 