Do you remember back in middle school (or for some of us it was much earlier) when the “popular girls” wouldn’t let anyone that didn’t “measure up” to their standards into their closed circle of friends?
I can recall it like it was yesterday, that DN and CF would taunt me with cruel words whenever I would attempt to sit at their chosen lunch table. Bits of food would get tossed at my head in an effort to force me to leave. Something inside of me kept me motionless until it was time to return to to class. I don’t know if it was fear that I would trip over my own feet trying to scramble out of that bench seat, or that they would hurl something worse than words. Nonetheless, I was dying inside.
I felt unwanted, uninvited, unwelcomed, unlovable, and undeserving of friendship. And I vowed that I would never make anyone feel like that.
Fast forward to adulthood, I’m seeing those old scenes playing out again.The ugly part is that the playground is now our local church.
Can we be real for a moment? I mean, like transparent with each other to the point that we won’t hold back but we’ll even support one another as our raw (real) selves? I just think that as women of GOD we need to know we’re in this together, shoulder to shoulder, arms linked, and pinkies hooked and flat out honest. We should be embracing one another’s uniqueness, not criticizing differences.
Somehow the lure to be competitive has muffled the call to serve one another with compassion and integrity, and we are appearing no different than the catty-ness of the world. In all that negative activity, we’re pushing people away from Jesus, community, and others ~ especially if they don’t “measure up” to our personal criteria.
Why do we do that?
I bring this sensitive topic for consideration because I’ve heard from enough women in recent days that it’s starting to look like a trend. For real. My own personal experience I bring to the forefront because I want you to know I get you, Sweet Friend. And if it hurt you, it hurt the heart of GOD, too. I won’t go into details about my adult experiences that resemble this form of cruelty. But I can say with tenderness and compassion, “I am so sorry you have gone through this.”
And it’s time to stop the cycle.
Troublemakers start fights;
gossips break up friendships. Proverbs 16:28 The Message
As surely as a north wind brings rain,
so a gossiping tongue causes anger! Proverbs 25:23 NLT
So how do we fix this?
16-18 Whenever, though, they turn to face God as Moses did, God removes the veil and there they are—face-to-face! They suddenly recognize that God is a living, personal presence, not a piece of chiseled stone. And when God is personally present, a living Spirit, that old, constricting legislation is recognized as obsolete. We’re free of it! All of us! Nothing between us and God, our faces shining with the brightness of his face. And so we are transfigured much like the Messiah, our lives gradually becoming brighter and more beautiful as God enters our lives and we become like him. 2 Corinthians 3:18 The Message
Back to basics, back to Jesus.
Let’s not forget that the Lord sees everything ~ including what happens in the dark recesses of our hearts and minds.
But the words you speak come from the heart—that’s what defiles you.Matthew 15:18 NLT
So if you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, 24 leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God. Matthew 5:23-24 NLT
Let’s build up one another as if that image bearer were your younger self. Perhaps you were once wounded as a young child and those hurts were never healed properly, and you’re now living from a place of that old hurt. You don’t have to remain stuck in that pain.
I appeal to you as your sister~in~Christ and as someone who believes that you detest that awful feeling just as much as the next woman in your circle of influence. It’s time to heal these old wounds and grow in the abundance that GOD has intended for you.
We may not be able to go back to those people who hurt us in our past, but we can make the conscious decision to live forward in the love of Christ as Jesus taught us.
But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be the glory both now and to the day of eternity. Amen. 2 Peter 3:18 ESV
I love you to Heaven and Back, Girlfriend ~
LindaRJohnson, TitusTwo Visionary
Titus Two 