Whenever I’ve had people react defensively towards me, I intentionally STOP and question ‘why’ they could possibly be feeling this way.
I’ve come to learn that people respond based on their own paradigm — where they come from in life — with the lens with which they view the world around them. Right or wrong, their eyes see things based on experiences they have had in their life.
Realizing this took many, MANY years of swallowing my own bottle of humility pills. I’ve learned to pray for ‘the ability to keep my mouth SHUT’ to prevent spreading anymore hurt in the world. And if you’ve ever swallowed a ‘pill,’ Girlfriend, you know that at some point — even a split second in time — you need to close those lips to ‘swallow.’ Get my drift?
All of this to say that whenever you receive a ‘hurtful response,’ it’s possible that the sender is coming from a ‘hurtful place.’
Proverbs 15:1-2 A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare. The tongue of the wise makes knowledge appealing, but the mouth of a fool belches out foolishness.
“Have you ever been misunderstood, Girlfriend? How did you deal with it? How can you BEST respond the next opportunity?”
I have found that if I pause, stay, and pray, The Holy Spirit will wash over me with a calm and settle my thoughts long enough to speak out a blessing and not fuel the hurt.
Pray for wisdom to know when to speak forward. When you do speak, always speak in and with love. It is not for us to judge another or their situation; but if we lace our words with grace, love has the opportunity to overcome any tense situation.
1 Thessalonians 5:15, 18 See that no one pays back evil for evil, but always try to do good to each other and to all people. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.
We are called to live in peace with one another.
I love you to Heaven and Back, Girlfriend ~~