When I was growing up, I thought I was surrounded by girls who had it “better” than me ~~ they were taller, thinner, smarter, more talented in the arts ~~ I even thought they had better HAIR than me! For whatever twisted reasons my mind could contrive, I just felt “less than” everyone else.
As an adult, very little had changed. Coming clean here, Girlfriend, I’m revealing some “ugly” stuff. Coming into adulthood, I continued to feel “less than” the seemingly “well put together” other women ~~ they were still taller, thinner, had awesome careers, had talents of both Martha Stewart and Iron Chef, could make amazingly great appearances just wearing jeans, and had PERFCT HAIR!
Yes, my early Companions were Jealousy and Envy; not good friends to have in life.
Proverbs 13:20 Walk with the wise and become wise; associate with fools and get in trouble.
I had to learn to “dump” my old friends and get new ones.
Look at our main verse in the Amplified translation:
Ecclesiastes 6:9 What the eyes see enjoying what is available is better than craving what the soul desires. This too is futility and chasing after the wind.
Sometimes what the eyes see (in my case, my eyes looking at me) are viewed with the wrong lens. For years, I had been looking at myself (and all the God-given attributes) and comparing me to the one next to me. Always thinking that “grass is greener on the other side” is sooo far from the truth ~~ we forget to consider that there may be “crabgrass” on the other side! Comparisons are birthed out of viewing TV and magazines and celebrities ~~ people that appear to have it all together ~~ and being dissatisfied with the image we see in mirror or in the life that we live.
Crazy things evolve from dissatisfaction ~~ insecurities that lead to jealousy, perfectionism, control issues, envy, and covetousness ~~. to name a few! Women of God don’t need these Companions ~~ we need to run from them like the plague, Girlfriend! That “soul desire” is about as stable as NASDAQ on hormones ~~ get my drift here?
What God has created in me and in you, Sister, is someone He treasures ~~ according to Jesus, we are worth dying for! That should say something of our value and worth. Comparing ourselves to another person and “finding fault” with what we see in us is equivalent to saying that God made a “mistake” when He Fashioned us after His Image. Hmmm, that’s an adjustment in the viewing lens, I would say.
Wanting what another woman “seems to have” in the way of her appearance or personality is a form of covetousness ~~ another word for envy or jealousy. Those two enemies of your soul, Girlfriend ~~ we don’t need their companionship if we are to have Company with The Lord of the universe.
I have learned (the hard way) to give God the praise for what He has done ~~ in and to me ~~ He has transformed me. I have learned to turn that envy and jealousy tendency into praise for what God has done for other women. I have learned to grab that covetousness by the neck and exchange it for compliments to the beholder of “beauty” and admirable attributes. These positive behaviors tend to make life also more bearable for those who live with me (and I know you undenderstand THAT).
If you wrestle with negativity towards what you see in yourself, ask God to give you a “new view” by changing your lens. Offer up your broken heart in exchange for one filled with love for what He has given you and allow Him to use all the wonderful talents and gifts that are already in your hand.
And by the way, I love my hair (now) ~~ because He gave it to me. Wink!
I love you to Heaven and Back, Girlfriend ~~