“He Sees Me”

She preps for her day in the usual manner, gathering the bare essentials for the activities and tasks that lay ahead of her. A quick glance in the mirror to make sure her clothing is where it should be (no hiked up back hems of her tunic, no over revealing necklines) and she is ready to head out the door. One last look at the reflection on the wall and she sees those eyes that desperately don’t want to be met by anyone unexpected — or anyone at all, for that matter.

The goal is to get from point A to point B in the least amount of time, and without being noticed.

With each calculated step away from the front door, she tells herself, ‘Just keep your head down and don’t stop.’ As if not making eye contact would assure her anonymity and a sense of being invisible, she continues down the road. Then dread of all dreads, she is met with a voice that seems to pierce her soul.

Girlfriend, it’s a scary place to be — out in the open. When it feels like those familiar walls which you are accustomed to leaning upon or hiding behind just seem to disappear into the floor beneath your feet.

Transparency — it can make you feel as though you’re standing naked in front of the whole world. Suddenly there you are, baring it all, without any recourse. Whether it was a query from an acquaintance or stranger, the requirement to respond leaves you with no place to run. Slow internal meltdown now grips your innermost being and you are trapped.

From that city many of the Samaritans believed in Him because of the word of the woman who testified, “he told me all the things that I have done.” John 4:39 NASB

I am not one who grew up accustomed to being open and transparent with people. In fact, I’ll admit to you right here and now, I was one to prefer (actually, I labored at) tucking it all deep inside of me. And you know what, Sister? I did well for myself — for awhile. That is, I managed to not provide any details about what was really going on inside of the darkest corners of my life.

No one knew of the sadness that was looming on the inside of this seemingly normal and even overachieving child. I had learned at an early age to bury myself into academics to occupy the lonely space of feeling awkward and unwanted. The excellence that I achieved in the academic realm afforded me the kudos of the adults in my sphere and that provided the distraction — the barrier — to the basement that housed the pain.

Until I met up with Jesus. He turned it all upside down and inside out.

Like the Samaritan woman, the revelation that GOD had been there all along — seeing all the things that I had experienced and done — just caught me completely off guard. Because He still approached me in love. He still wanted to have conversation with me. He wanted to let me know that even while He was front row center to my life, He still wanted to have a relationship with me.

Blew me away!

Are there areas in your life that you would not want GOD to speak to, much less pull back the covers that you’ve tried lay over?

It’s not like He hasn’t seen them, Girlfriend — He’s just waiting to have that conversation with you about them. Go on … I think He’s ready to listen … take your time.

My mind goes all over the place when I read the entire passage in the Book of John, the fourth chapter. This woman was minding her own business and going about her daily routine, when suddenly she is confronted about her past (and present). Clearly she had lived a colorful life (up to this point) — but it wasn’t one to brag about. I’m sure she may have even been the talk of the town, being ‘the one with several men in her life.’ You know, that woman most folks would whisper about when she crossed paths. The one with wounds in her spirit from the daggers that were hurled at her in the form of derogatory remarks. Her concealed bruises from being bantered around in social circles as the ‘known’ woman were all that she could hide beneath her tough façade of an exterior.

But GOD … how I love those two precious words …

Interrupted her day with a mind-blowing experience that ignited the very town that probably spoke ill of her. I don’t doubt that she may have squirmed at the very words of Jesus as He carefully laid out the details of her life. It must have felt as if He were rolling out the blueprints of everything that she had experienced from the beginning. I imagine that her palms may have become sweaty and her knuckles turned white as her heart began to race with every word that proceeded out of His mouth. And of course, those eyes …

When Jesus looks into the eyes of my heart and tells me what is in there — part of me wants to start crying, part of me wants to hide, part of me wants to embrace Him. Because He doesn’t scold, shame or accuse but instead He holds me closer (I think it’s so that I don’t fall over) to let me know He still loves me in spite of it all, I’m drawn in.

He knew when I was thirsty for wholeness and healing. He watched as ran from myself and yet never took His eyes off of me. He waited. He spoke. Until I ran towards Him.

He saw me — at my utmost worst and my feeble best. And He still loved me — still does.

This is profound for me — that He is the GOD Who ‘sees me’ and still can’t take His eyes off me — good or bad days, doesn’t matter. And I hope and pray that is is equally significant for you, Sweet Friend.

In the ugliest moments of your life, El Roi, ‘The GOD Who Sees,’ continues to call you by name, with a Voice that your heart hears, in a compassionate tone that no love ballad can match. Regardless of what you think you may have done that would drive anyone else away, He believes you are worth dying for.

You, too, can have a complete restoration — just like the Samaritan woman, just like me, just like countless others who are inviting you to live life out in the open. You can be free to be who you were designed to be — without hiding or being ashamed of who you think you may have been or the life you may have lived.

I encourage you to read the entire account in the fourth chapter of the Book of John. The woman is nameless — she is only described as the Samaritan woman at the well. But GOD knows her name just as He knows your name. She was so excited about what Jesus did for her soul that she couldn’t contain herself and went running towards the town to tell others about Him. Imagine that … she no longer had reason to hide.

And neither do you.

I love you to Heaven and Back, Girlfriend ~~

LindaRJohnson, TitusTwo Visionary