“The Holy Huddle (Finding Your Amen Corner) After a Season of Grief” by Guest Writer: Carmen Jo Trummer

When you hear the term “holy huddle,” most Christians will cringe and may even profess that they avoid those. It usually refers to staying within the confines of your church and your Christian family and not dealing with the secular world. I think the holy huddle, when utilized correctly and with the right amount of balance, is exactly the kind of armament that God intended for us to have as we live in a secular world and struggle with the Father of lies and malcontent.

So, what is a holy huddle? What does it look like and what can it look like?

The holy huddle can consist of many things and we are going to walk through some ideas and lists that helped me during my initial days of grief that may help you. The first list includes the easiest, and most accessible way to God: Pray. Pray. Pray.

When I was growing up, I always thought prayer had to be a formal conversation with God. I never saw anyone talk to Him casually, so I thought prayer had a right and wrong structure, with certain words, in certain positions and in special places. With all those constraints, no wonder my prayer life was almost non-existent. As an adult, and after meeting my Bible mentor I came to realize that prayer is all about intimacy with God. It is your personal relationship with God, no formalities or rituals. It is as easy as a conversation with a friend over coffee. He is always listening and always ready to hear your words. So, if you are struggling with praying, it is as easy as saying, “Hi God. It’s me, Carmen. I need some help down here. I am sad and alone. My heart hurts and I feel lost. Will you help me? Amen” That’s it. Start right there. 

26 And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. 27 And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will. Romans 8:26-27 NLT

Once you develop your own personal way of praying, the words will start to pour out of you, as will the sting will from your eyes. The hurt on your heart will run out. You can pray anywhere. In the shower, in bed, on a walk, in the car, on the couch, on the treadmill, with a friend. He can hear you anywhere at any time. 

The next thing you will want to do to remain in the holy huddle is to attend a good, Bible-believing church. In person or virtually, stay connected with your church family. If you don’t have a church right now, there are so many virtual online services that are amazing.

            I know that the current pandemic situation is making life difficult and for many are isolated, so do your best to get out and see people and be with people as you are able.

Another suggestion for remaining connected to your holy huddle is to listen to praise and worship music. Music is one of God’s gifts that can lift us out of a funky day, a funky mood, and absolutely move us to another moment. It literally changes the atmosphere. It creates another mindset. Seriously, it will make your heart a bit lighter and help make a bad day a bit brighter!

The law of the Lord is perfect, refreshing the soul. The statutes of the Lord are trustworthy, making wise the simple. Psalm 19:7 NIV

The lowly he sets on high, and those who mourn are lifted to safety. Job 5:11 NIV

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6 NIV

He defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow, and loves the foreigner residing among you, giving them food and clothing. Deuteronomy 10:18 NIV

The holy huddle also includes Bible studies. I can’t tell you how much God’s words have helped me during times of grief and other times of need. My beautiful girl, God’s Word encompasses every need, every emotion, and every circumstance we could encounter. One of the best ways to introduce yourself to the Bible, is through Bible study.  It can be as simple as downloading a free version of the YouVersion Bible App and getting started.

I know in these moments of grief we sometimes want privacy and isolation, and these tools can be God’s answer to staying connected while hiding in our houses. Literally. Staying in the Word has answered my life questions in critical moments. God always knows what we need, when we need it. You will be surprised that the Scripture you randomly choose will have the words that speak directly to your heart in the moment. That is how the Holy Spirit works.

Stay in the Word and you will always have the way.


Next up, Christian entertainment. Have you found that since you lost your loved one, you might be sensitive to noise or over-stimulated by violent or dramatic scenes on the television or online programming? The American Academy of Family Physicians, highly recommends limiting or making adjustments to exposure to certain kinds of media especially when dealing with the stress of grief.

The next thing I’d recommend is finding a Bible mentor or Christian counselor. Dealing with your grief from a Biblical perspective will help with long-term results. When you look at heartache from a Christian angle, you can see how God can help you heal, and that we live in a broken world. God doesn’t want us to stay in a broken spot; He wants us to reach for Him, to find your way to back to Him, and make your trial your testimony.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11 NIV

And that is the truth

These are the types of things we must do in our season of grief. We need to surround ourselves with love and God’s Word, our loved ones and our supporters of faith. We need to immerse ourselves in the love of the heavenly Father and positive affirmations until we cannot recognize the pain and hurt any longer.

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: Ecclesiastes 3:1 NIV

There is a season for everything. This is your season of mourning.The Bible also teaches how to mourn and where to turn for help. Find the godly affirmation that frees your heart from pain. Share your tears with your friends, go to church, turn up the radio, write in your journal, read a book about grief, attend a Bible study, or binge watch Lucille Ball reruns.

Most of all, cloak yourself in Christ, and He will provide the shelter your fragile heart needs in this season of hurt.

Carmen Jo Trummer grew up in a small town in NE Ohio but has called Mount Vernon, Virginia, home for nearly twenty-five years. She has raised two amazing sons and currently resides with her playful hound dog, Dozer. Carmen is a professional project manager and loves a to-do list, but her ultimate love is crafting a story from her travels. She is an international business owner and has a Costa-Rican God daughter. Baptized at age twelve by a preacher named Moe, Carmen developed a relationship with Christ in her formative years. Difficult and painful life events have trained Carmen to speak the language of grief and share the pain of traumatic loss as both a Breast Cancer survivor and a widow, when at age forty-seven, the love of her life, Bill, committed suicide. Her Christian grit has pushed her to cling to Christ during her crises and find healing in everyday routines and extraordinary adventures. From daily Bible studies, hiking over thirty parks, and traveling across three continents, Carmen is the scrappy-tomboy-outdoorsy type who is committed to God and the healing of her heart. Connect with Carmen on her website: https://www.carmentrummer.com/; on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/carmen.j.trummer.

We thank you, Carmen, for sharing your heart and contributing to this month’s publication of Titus-two.com speaking about restoration after times of grief.

You are loved to Heaven and Back, Carmen ~~

LindaRJohnson, TitusTwo Visionary


  1. Thank you Carmen Jo for your beautiful words. Although our stories differ, your words sank deep and I think I’m finally understanding the sweet aroma of prayer.
    Staying in the ‘Holy Huddle’ , I realized that I’m the one doing the Christian mentoring through my Ministry (which is a good thing:)) but my soul needs to be filled back up and fed too! Like a firehouse… volumes going out and little coming in.
    Would love to connect on a deeper level… any suggestions on finding a Christian Mentor are appreciated:))
    Thanks Linda for this inspiration and loving these women to Heaven and back!🧡

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh Carmen, you are wonderful, beautiful & blessed women! An inspiration to more than you’ll ever know. Definitely made in the likeness of our Lord. Your written guidance for souls that must grieve and carry-on with life is foundational for all to live by, Thank-You! “Rejoice in the Lord always. I shall say it again: rejoice! Your kindness should be known to all. The lord is near. Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. Then the peace that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Jesus Christ.” Philippians 4-7

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Eric,
      My name is also Eric and I am hoping you can help us. After sending this article to my wife, she scrolled below to read your comment and is now infuriated with me, believing I wrote it to “flirt,” with the Aurhor. I do have a similar writing style and love the Lord, so would use these type of scriptures. However, I love my wife, Elizabeth, beyond all, other than the Lord Jesus Christ of Nazareth, of course and would never communicate with another gal like this. Think she saw the heart you gave…
      Thanks for any help!
      We have quite a Musical Missionaries Ministry together and the enemy has been working overtime to destroy us together!
      In His Service
      Eric Soldahl


      1. Eric, my sincere apologies for unknown to me putting you in a difficult position with your beloved wife. I’m willing to give you my cell number via my email and talk about a solution or your wife could call me straight up. Sincerely, Hanson


    2. Hello Eric/Hansen,
      Thank you so much for offering to help clear this up. God Bless you for clarifying i was not the Eric who wrote the 1st email.
      Please call us at +1 510 599 5700
      Or 916 256 6256.

      P.S. we truly apologize for any inconvenience and to the Author, as well.


      Thank you brother!


      1. Good Evening Eric & Elizabeth, I will give you a call tomorrow to discuss the fact that I wrote the comment to Ms. Trummer, author of the “The Holy Huddle”
        Blessings, Eric


  3. Thanks Carmen – I am sharing with my SIL who recently became a widow by suicide. I am praying continuously for her and will share these words of encouragement and hope.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Dear Carmen and Eric Hanson,
    This is Elizabeth and I just want to thank you both for bearing with me on the above posts. My husband and I have been under huge spiritual attacks recently, as we’ve been on a Mission trip to Central America. I have had some past issues with mistrust and grief. So bless you, Carmen, for the wonderful article above. All of the verses that you cited truly touched my heart.
    Many thanks to Mr. Eric Hanson, for talking with me and my husband on the phone to clear up the identity. I had no reason not to trust my on faithful Eric. You offered us great encouragement with our marriage, our music and mission work.
    God bless you both and may God bless the Holy Huddle. With love in the Great Commission, Elizabeth


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