“But GOD, This Isn’t What I Was Hoping For — Allowing the Disappointment to Turn Into Delight”

As children eagerly awaiting Christmas morning, we anxiously bounced off the walls up until the moment we were allowed to unwrap (and for some, tear into and demolish that wrapping paper) that first gift beneath the tree.

And you have to admit that sometimes the moment of reveal proved to be disappointing. Like a deflated balloon, we would sit in a hole of disappointment.

That childlike immaturity would manifest in all sorts of facial expressions. Our bodies just choosing to remain paralyzed as the enthusiasm seemed to ooze out of us as we looked upon the disappointing gift. Children haven’t learned the skillful art of camouflaging their emotions.

Our bike-shaped expectations now reduced down to a winter sweater. All the mental visions of us riding along with the wind at our backs, breezing through hours of fun-filled moments were simply not to be. Instead, we are left with what to do with — this sweater.

Maybe you’re in a season right now where you had envisioned living with completely different circumstances. Or, perhaps you were fully convinced that by this time your circumstances would be alleviated and the situation(s) in your life would be history and you’d be sipping on iced tea wiping the sweat off your brow as you swing in your hammock.

But nothing has changed. In fact, things have intensified.

Nonetheless, the gift remained a gift. Our hopes and dreams for unveiling something that we had deemed spectacular were the furthest thing from what we were now staring at. Feeling defeated and let down by the world and GOD, we sulk and pout.

“Um, GOD, I think You may have meant this for someone else. This has got to be a mistake. This isn’t what I asked for.”

Funny, how life lessons can come full circle when we are still students of the Giver of Life. Quite often, we are destined to repeat lessons that we seemingly choose to ignore before — mistakenly confident that we can handle what we are asking for. But I have some news to share with you from the laboratory of learning: GOD lovingly grows us into the capacity He knows we can handle beyond the present. (Pun intended)

Photo by Thgusstavo Santana on Pexels.com

If we truly surrender to the fact that GOD knows exactly what He is doing and that His Plans for our lives are directly scripted with us in mind, perhaps a reimagined approach to receiving His Perspective on those Plans is in order.

GOD doesn’t write the story of our lives in pencil. He pre-scripts it in indelible ink and pens it in strokes of love.

Like you, my Friend, I’ve lived through countless disappointments. But as I look back on those experiences, I am here to share with you the gem I found tucked deep within them. A jewel of a find that taught me that the love of GOD is mine to posses because He delights in me. And it is in that expression of unconditional love that He desires only the best for me.

My way of thinking is limited by my humanity.

“Just as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so my ways are higher than your ways,
and my thoughts are higher than your thoughts.”
Isaiah 55:9 GWT

A hard pivot is required on my part. And that is where the transformative thought process occurs. That is that sacred place where I ultimately come to terms with GOD loves me more than I could ever love myself or others.

I am only capable of wanting what I am accustomed to experiencing in the physical realm — unless I experience a taste of the heavenly realm.

So, how do I get there? Let it go, Friend. Release the expectation for things to fall into place as you would order them and let the Perfect One have His Way with all the details.

Photo by Miriam Alonso on Pexels.com

Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. Colossians 3:2 ESV

Will I get it perfect over time? No. But I will tell you this: allowing the Holy Spirit to transform our minds daily — having a pliable and flexible spirit — will build up that spiritual muscle so that when we encounter a disappointing moment, we will see GOD in it and have a better understanding of what it means to trust His ways even when it doesn’t seem to make sense. Even when those words want to find their way out to declare, ‘this isn’t what I hoped for.’

We can trust that because He delights in us, He is capable of redirecting that disappointment so we can see His love for us.

I love you to Heaven and Back, Girlfriend ~~

LindaRJohnson, TitusTwo Visionary

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