Visiting the Land of my Family, embracing countless relatives that I had never before met, on the complete opposite side of the globe ~~ and I ventured off solo.
Preparing for the trip was exciting and full of wonder ~~ I had even downloaded an app for a handy language translator (which I never used). As I applied for my passport, which should have been without incident, the government ‘shutdown’ for a couple weeks and the seemingly simple process came to a grinding halt. Great! Fortunately, a private client of mine paved the way to enable me to obtain it in a timely manner (inspite of the national delays). In my mind, I started to ‘wonder’ about what else could possibly happen.
When departure day finally arrived, and I was at the airport waving goodbyes to my husband and children, it hit me ~~ I cannot understand the primary language being spoken. While I can understand my Family dialect, it is but one of nearly 100 different dialects in that country. Sitting at the boarding gate, my palms began to get a bit sweaty, as I intently listened for key words: boarding, tickets, passengers.
I tried to play like I could blend in by following along with other passengers. Looking for kind eyes in the crowd I would discreetly ask: ‘Did the attendant say Coach passengers?’ People were courteous and smiled at my lack of understanding; but they did offer to help.
Onboard the airplane I figured I could rest for the 16-hours flight and just read up on more helpful key phrases for when I landed. But I had not anticipated having to communicate with the flight attendants. Oops!
When it came time for ordering meal details, my cover was blown wide open. The flight attendant spoke in Tagalog (the national language), and while I was able to detect a few familiar words: fish, eggs, and rice, I couldn’t make out a word of her other questions.
‘I’m sorry, what was that?’ And then the facial expression on her face quickly changed. ‘What nationality are you?’ Yikes! ‘I’m Filipino.’ With a look of surprise she replied, ‘You are?!’ The embarrassment on my face could not have been any greater shade of blush in my entire makeup bag. And such went the rest of the flight Journey ~~ just 14 more hours to go ~~ no problem!
Psalm 25:3 No one who trusts in you will ever be disgraced, but disgrace comes to those who try to deceive others.
Reset. I realized in a split second that I was not going to fool anyone with my incognito agenda ~~ there was no way I could fake my way into another country and not be found out ~~ come clean.
God once again gently tapped me on the heart and said, ‘Trust Me for your needs.’
What on earth was I thinking? And so in the seat of that airplane I relaxed into the Trusting Arms of my Father God who made the heavens that this airplane was soaring through, and the earth that was so far beneath the wings of this airplane all I could see was ocean and clouds.
How often have I thought in my tiny brain that I could play it off or fake my way through something I knew nothing about? Have you ever been there, Girlfriend? Taking a few shortcuts, maybe trying to just supplement my knowledge base ~~ just enough to get by and survive for a few moments in time ~~ only to be found out.
God’s Word has a distinctive way of revealing who we really are and what our true motives are.
Hebrews 4:12-13 For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God. Everything is naked and exposed before his eyes, and he is the one to whom we are accountable.
When we think that we can ‘camouflage’ our hidden thoughts from man, only to have God pull back the covering and expose us, it’s beyond embarrassing. God’s Word will reveal the sin and evil intentions buried beneath any quiet exterior.
For the rest of my traveling Journey I vowed to not pretend to know more than I did ~~ and to be perfectly raw and real in every moment. It was quite liberating to be free of any false pretenses. False pretenses have prideful origins. It’s all of that fear that creates the need to appear perfect.
And for the rest of my earthly Journey I have also vowed to be transparent and honest in every conscious moment. I will admit it’s not always easy. But it allows for a greater closeness to not have any prideful barriers between me and my Savior.
Are there any areas of your life, Girlfriend, that need to be revealed so that you can have a closer walk with The Lord? What possible prideful barriers may you need to have Him tear down in order for you to lean in closer?
I pray that you’ll allow the Holy Spirit to do a work in your life today and give you the blessed confidence and assurance to live fully without any need to pretend.
I love you to Heaven and Back, Girlfriend ~~