There are a myriad of ways that we can describe those individuals with whom we have made emotional pacts. My Ace. My Homie. My BFF. My Tribe. My People. Sometimes born out of tragedy or trauma — likeminded survivors know just how to comfort and soothe another weary heart with a salve of kindness.
While it would be great to have someone you wouldn’t have to bring up to speed with all the dark corners of your life and who would have to sit through hearing you unpack the buried trunk items (you know what’s in there) and explain all the cultural nuances of what makes you unique, life doesn’t always come packaged so neatly with pop-up friendly people.
People move and change locations. Life events place you in a realm of different experiences that not everyone can relate to. Granted, there are unique individuals who will want to understand all your variables and still come out liking you. In fact, they’ll show up at your door again to hear more and share their life with you. And just possibly you will have found a friend and you can move forward doing life together.
Mama used to tell me, “It’s best to have just a few close friends.” Her wisdom spoke of being mindful that everyone can be a kind acquaintance, but those with whom you entrust your heart are chosen with great discernment.
Can you quickly name your three closest friends?
What qualities do they possess? What commonalities do you share? How did you meet?
Generally speaking, there’s a thread of common ground between two people that consider themselves friends. Anything that brought you together may be the glue that holds you together.
1 Unfriendly people care only about themselves;
they lash out at common sense.
2 Fools have no interest in understanding;
they only want to air their own opinions. Proverbs 18: 1-2 NLT
For those who feel they can do life in isolation, the Bible warns against being a loner. There is the propensity to be self-centered and arrogant. Having friends tends to keep us open to seeing the world around us with a fair perspective and teaches us to share our space.
At best, friendships that are built on trust and honesty can develop into the kind of relationship the Bible refers to as being closer than a brother (blood relations).
And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:12 ESV
While two heads are better than one, there is a kinship that when added to the dynamic duo that becomes a triad of great strength: Jesus.
“Is Jesus part of your closest bond?”
Those with whom we have our meltdowns, ugly face crying days, rants that no one else will be invited to … are they one in Spirit with you? It is that friend that will give you the greatest consolation and wisdom in your deepest time of need. Because you share the Spirit of the living Christ between the two of you.
This is the treasured friend that will allow you to let it all out but guide you back to your true place of hope and peace — because they know Hope and Peace. His name is Jesus.
People that will give you an ear and a shoulder but also feed your angst and bitterness are not the ones you need to get you to a better place. You can be miserable on your own. And no one wants to remain stuck in despair and depression.
But the one that will give you the time, the tissue box and GOD’s counsel without judging you (because she knows Who judges all), she is also the one who will pray with you and for you long after you’ve left her presence. That’s the kind of friend worth keeping for life.
Are you needing some direction on how to seek out trustworthy people of likemindedness?
A troublemaker plants seeds of strife;
gossip separates the best of friends. Proverbs 16:28 NLT
“Do for other people everything you want them to do for you. Luke 6:31 GWT
Like many people, I, too, have experienced the burning of bad relations. No one wants to go through that. The uphill road to trust and confidence is a hard one. Believing the good about others sometimes has to be a lesson re-learned. But friendships that are built on Jesus — what He taught, how He heals (yes, that’s present tense), how He loves — those are the relationships that will always point you to Him when you need Him most.
I love you to Heaven and Back, Girlfriend ~~
LindaRJohnson, TitusTwo Visionary