Grieving the loss of a loved one just never seems to grow so old that you forget the pain that remains as a result of the absence.
On this day, after attending the funeral service of someone in our local church whom I did not have the privilege of knowing well, I find myself sitting in a pool of tears.
Perhaps it was in the silenced words of years gone by — they found their way to the surface in the form of tears. Apparently, I had suppressed more than I realized.
Or possibly in the similarities of suffering — watching the family video tribute brought back so many painful memories of seeing my own family walk that same journey.
A Man of sorrows and pain and acquainted with grief; Isaiah 53:3b Amplified
When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in his spirit and greatly troubled. John 11:33 ESV
Jesus wept. John 11:35 ESV
Grief never seems to get so old that it fades into the sunset and loses it’s impact on your life. There’s just something about it that doesn’t let go of it’s hold on you.
Perhaps it’s the sting of the rip on your heart — that beloved person, no matter how long the Lord allowed for you to ‘prepare’ for their exit, the wound leaves a scar — its reminder that something drastic has occurred.
Jesus felt the agony and pain of loss of human contact. He, too, is well acquainted with the sorrow of death of loved ones. The heartache we feel, He also feels. So, I know that I can trust Him with my heart and just let it all spill out — messy and tangled as it may be at times.
Could it be that our brokenness in a season of grieving the death of a loved one is a tiny glimpse of the pain that GOD feels when He sees one of His children choosing to be separated from Him? I don’t know — it’s just a momentary thought that gave way to finding itself on this page.
In confiding with a dear friend, I came to terms with the reality that I still need to grieve the seasons of loss that feel like a quilt that I’m stitching together one thread at a time. One life at a time. A tapestry of lives that covered me throughout the years, contributing their colorful patterns and textures to the uniqueness of my own.
The indelible memories of yesterday have gifted me with extraordinary and phenomenal stories that I will continue to share with the generations behind me. And these stories will live on in my children.
Grief never gets too old that you forget where you were, the smells and sounds, what you were doing at the moment you encounter the passing of a loved one. Those details like a treasured artifact in a museum are encased in our memory forever.
If not for the fact that Jesus released us from remaining stuck in a debt owed to a Holy GOD, we would all be facing a fate of total and eternal separation from Him. That is the grief that breaks the heart of The Father. Death of a relationship that can be fully restored by humble trust in His Son.
I am certain that you have at some time also experienced the agony of losing a loved one. And I am so, so very sorry that you have. If you are presently walking this journey, I would want to reach across this table and give you a hug. I know that emptiness all too well. It doesn’t leave you, but the gentle memories help you get to the next step and into the next day. You can exhale, Friend, because you will make it. Give yourself time.
This I can say with certainty: Because I know that Jesus feels my pain and knows my sorrow, I am confident that He will continue to heal these broken pieces. He is my Hope. And I can tell Him when it hurts so bad that I just don’t know how to move forward on a given day. I don’t have to know how He plans to do this. I don’t demand that He explain to me why things turned out the way they did. But I’m determined to get out of the way of a Holy GOD to do what He sees best for me — even when I don’t see things the way I would have wanted to. Simply because He is GOD.
I love you to Heaven and Back, Girlfriend ~
LindaRJohnson, TitusTwo Visionary