“On Relationships”


Relationships are the very essence of a woman’s life ~~ she breathes and thrives and identifies her person based on her relationships.  When things are going awry, she re-examines her place in a relationship, carefully analyzing where she may be needing to enhance or build up or improve herself for the sake of  the relationship.  Oh, but when things are going well, Sister, you can bet she’s dancing and engaging and loving life to its fullest.

Friendships are God’s gifts to us ~~ He loves on us through the blessings of the presence of others in our life.  Some of us have had to ‘learn’ how to be a Friend ~~ you’re not alone, Sister, I’m in your company.  Through much trial and error, those of us in this category have had to bear down and swallow the pride pill hundreds of times to get past the self-criticisms and the judgmental attitude towards others (when we’re critical of ourselves, we are equally, if not more critical of others) in an effort to accept and appreciate the beauty of the differences and unique qualities of others.  The key here is transparency.  Be real, be raw, be authentically YOU!  And never be afraid to be genuine, for you are imaged after GOD.

Family is inherited ~~ so the choice has been made by GOD.  This is the “relational boot camp” in life.  Love ties us all together under one roof and through the branches of the same tree.  Common blood running through our veins and DNA imprints our connections ~~ most times.  Sometimes the drills and obstacle courses of the family relational boot camp can seem so intense and difficult to overcome ~~ but many times, love keeps us together ~~ most times.  Survival may have meant you successfully learned how to treat others as you would want to be treated ~~ support, encouragement, wisdom, guidance ~~ most times.

“Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you.  This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets.”  Matthew 7:12 NLT

But what if you squeaked through the family relational boot camp and the scrapes and wounds never really healed?  What if you never had a mentor or Friend to guide you through establishing friendships?  What if you’re reading this now and are wondering when things will finally make sense or people will want to be around you and you around them?  What if as an adult woman your struggles are still the same as they were when you were an adolescent young girl in high school?

Start small ~~ Small Groups ~~ Small Group Bible Studies.  In any church environment, the bigness of a building can often intimidate the most tender hearted and introverted spirit.  Reach outside of yourself ~~ even if it means tiny sacrifices (social activities may need to be readjusted) ~~ extend yourself in love and grace, and the same will likely return back to you.  Don’t give up ~~ don’t give in to the temptation to run the other direction.  Love is right around the corner, Girlfriend.

If any of this sounds vaguely familiar to you, if you have lived through any of the difficult times and your “scars” are proof of the battles you’ve encountered, what Step of FAITH are you being called to take today to help out a Sister in need?

He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. 2 Corinthians 1:4.  NLT

Now, get on out there and love on somebody, will you?  She’s probably standing right behind you.



  1. The Lord is so good! I have a large extended family that loves me very much, but as an only child….I don’t have any sisters, and I struggled with that off and on through out my life. But one day the Lord spoke to me and told me, “That you do have sisters. Not through your blood, but through Mine!” How thankful I am for the sisters that He’s brought into my life! 💖


    1. Sharon ~~ God is INDEED so good to us! I hear you ~~ my only sibling died when we were both yet young children, so I, too, grew up as an ‘only child’ but within a home of extended ‘siblings.’ So while we may have come into this world ‘without,’ we are able to live ‘within’ ~~ and when God has been invited to be at the Center of your family and world, life is COMPLETE! I get you, Girlfriend!


  2. Relationships……mmmmmm taste so good. I’ve had to learn by God what a real true relationship was and God eliminated my past relationships with people and drew me in closer to him first. In the beginning it was painful and I didn’t understand WHY I was loosing all of these “friends”. But today, I can see why God wanted me all to himself and that was so I could KNOW him intimately without distractions, know what kind of friend I have in God, so I could be the kind of friend that God wanted me to be to others and God showed me that I will attract what I am. It’s still a journey, but it’s not as painful because I know God’s hand is guiding me and for good reason.


    1. Christy, I hear you, Girlfriend! This incredible Journey with God, and knowing Him more with each passing day helps to answer some of those preliminary questions we had of ‘why am I going through this?,’ and ‘why are people disappearing from my life?’ I love how you came to understand that He wanted you CLOSE to Him so that you could receive all that He wants to give you. Isn’t it awesome when we finally ‘get it?’
      Thank you for sharing your heart, Girlfriend!


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