Psalm 62:1 1-2 God, the one and only—I’ll wait as long as he says. Everything I need comes from him, so why not? He’s solid rock under my feet, breathing room for my soul, An impregnable castle: I’m set for life. The Message
I’m celebrating! Want to join me?! Exactly one year ago God turned my life around and gave me “new knees.” You can say, “He STRAIGHTENED me out!”
Yes, it’s been a full year of recovery ~~ and I will be first to tell you it was not the road for the faint-hearted. I’ve experienced excruciating pain, fatigue, disappointment, failure, (unwanted) weight-gain, and to top it off menopause all in the same breath. But I’ve also experienced the unspeakable joy that comes only from the Giver of Life itself.
For those of us who have lived through surgical procedures, there is a time of recovery that is marked by varying levels of “discomfort” and disappointment. The disappointment usually comes from setting our personal goals at an unreasonable level for the particular time in our recovery journey. The “discomfort” is what it is and generally decreases over time ~~ as long as we don’t set our focus on it.
Throughout this past year I was resolute about my trust in God to bring me through everything that seemed too far out of reach and too impossible for me to achieve. I knew that my GOD would show up. However, I just didn’t know when.
Those were the moments (a lot of those moments) when I could feel myself growing weary and plain tired. Those pain-filled moments when all I could do was try and cry. Those ever-so-humbling moments when hobbling solo with my walker I would rejoice if I made it to the bathroom “on time.” Those frustrating moments that seemed to last an eternity when all I wanted to do was be able to cycle a stationary bike in physical therapy.
Yes, in those deep and dark moments of my life, I wept for my GOD to arrive with my healing and restoration ~~ I knew He could, but the Timing is always His. And so I trusted Him. Sounds easy ~~ and it wasn’t as though it was a new concept for me ~~ but my gosh, when reality arrived, I couldn’t help but wonder when GOD would arrive with healing in His Hands.
Months and months and months of waiting. My physical progress seemed so SLOOOOOW (I think I hear my physical therapist nodding her head). No matter how hard I would try to accomplish certain tasks it just wouldn’t happen ~~ my body seemed to “refuse” to cooperate with my efforts. UGH!
Suddenly, one day it happened ~~ I got on that stationary bike and just started to pedal. It was difficult at first , but after a few minutes and much sweat, all systems were go. And so it was every session thereafter. AAAAHH!
But my ROM (range of motion) still fell short of “the charts.” I’ve always detested “charts;” they’ve never seemed to swing in my favor ~~ weight charts, body fat charts, height charts, even bra size charts ~~ why did I seem to always land perfectly in-between numbers?? Story of my life!
Upon return to work, there was still much to achieve in the “ability” department of my progress. Mind you, I’m performing all the tasks given to me in physical therapy and adding strength training. More months passed. Tedious daily stretching ~~ painful stretching. Ice packs are my companions and Aleve is my daily multi-vitamin. But GOD …
In His infinite Wisdom and Mercy ~~ showed up when I relinquished my grip on “progress deadlines.” Deadlines that I had set ~~ goals that I perceived to be necessary. My goals.
When GOD showed up not only did I experience less frustration and stress but I miraculously performed the tasks that I thought were out of my reach. Just before GOD showed up I had resolved in my mind to just “let go” and let things occur whenever they would. I had prayed that GOD wouldn’t leave me “half done.” I wanted desperately to be “whole” again. As I assess where I am today, I can tell you, Girlfriend, GOD showed up before I realized the extent of my true progress and development.
As the Scripture verse above declares that everything I need comes from Him, that includes the “ability to wait” on Him.
Isaiah 40:29, 31 He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless. But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.
I have to admit, Girlfriend, that I did not fully embrace all of this, GOD showing up, until I heard one of our Assistant Pastors speak on this the other day in his sermon about “waiting.” Sitting in church digesting those words ~~ when it finally dawned on me that the reason I had been feeling so “strong and healthy” lately was because my GOD had shown up and brought healing in His Hands.
I had been looking for so many other “indicators” of progress ~~ that I nearly missed seeing my miracle!
Forgiveness was the first thing on my lips as I sat there motionless ~~ I prayed and asked God to forgive me for being so wrapped up in my own ideas of restoration that I had overlooked His Healing power had been poured out on me.
“Have you been too busy, Girlfriend, that you’ve nearly missed the fact that GOD has showed up with your miracle?”
Psalm 119:18 Open my eyes to see the wonderful truths in your instructions.
Deuteronomy 11:7 But you have seen the Lord perform all these mighty deeds with your own eyes!
“Father, I praise You for Your mighty works of redemption and restoration. Thank You for opening my eyes to Your wonderful love for me through Your Son, Jesus. Forgive me Lord, for all the times when I have neglected to seek Your Face in my situations, both difficult and not. Lift my head upward to remind me to remain hopeful in every trial. Keep my heart tender so that I may never miss out on an occasion when You show up. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.”
I Love you to Heaven and Back, Girlfriend ~~